no excitement...

I really should have posted something yesterday but I totally out off my mood. Actually theres nothing to post since I don't have update rite now after my final project submission. I just just thought life kinda boring without any assignment. Yes, my brain kinda give me the impression that when we do assignment and tend do a lot of thinking, the brain get healthier. Stress also give positive affect to the brain. But rite now my stress doesn't help the brain to function like usual. Its totally boring. Nothing to do except study for coming exam. Many artwork still in W.I.P mode. I can't find the suitable motivation to do it now. Watching anime is entertaining but doesn't work sometimes. I just realize that I don't spend time for myself. What I mean is, I use to spend time with others, but theres no space for myself. I ignore what myself really needed and end up screw up my inner self. Now, I really hope to turn back to my old self when I'm still a loner and spend most of my time alone coz as far as I'm remember that the only time when I really took care of own self and what my desire needed. I think about myself alone without need to worry bout my surrounding. I want those special feeling when I'm did everything own my own without out side factor. My father always said that do the thing you must do and never ever had second thought about it. Yes,I kept my father word till now and it become half of my ego. I'm very strict to my decision coz that what I learn from little. Try to bend my ego, prepare the consequences you may face.

I feel so bad this 2 days coz I miss my Asar and Maghrib prayer for 2 days straight. Reason, I overslept. Very very stupid reason and if my father know, for sure he will give me a heavy punishment. But the thing I really afraid is the punishment after life. Every time think bout this, it give me the cold chill. I don't wanna this to happen ever again, but still it happen. I just realize that I'm not a strong person after all. But I hope and pray it will change.

Shuun