Thursday, February 19, 2015

Never Being Straight

...and I told myself, nothing can be done if you keep on lying?
maybe I'm being sensitive but the way things are now
it won't do me any favor
if I spit it out, does it do me any good?
I'm afraid some people will distant them self from me
and some might loath to be near me from being different
nothing worse then feel rejected and neglected
from the people you put your greatest trust
even now I'm crumbling silently inside
and I thought I've found some one as my support
but it just a dream, hopeless dream
everything shattered into million pieces
that can't be mend
try to work things out on my own
in the dark corner of my cold room
I never truly understand why people commit suicide
for being different
but now, at this very moment
my heart felt the pain, excruciating pain and empathy
for all the people that had lost their way, their life
I understand now
it's never easy being different
never was...

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Distant Ray

...and at the end of the day
the only thing that I ever wish for
just your happiness and life fulfillment
your dream and ambition
it may seem like my motivation
had been torn apart by my own decision
but looking at your smile
I saw a small glimmer of distant light
far over the horizon of my heart
painfully beautiful and calming
as I know it is not the end
of our relationship
it just transforming into something
that worth keeping for eternity
and you know it

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Quit Trying

...and I've tried my best to fight those feeling
those longing, desire, tempting, even lust
it's an endless inner conflict and struggle
war that I know I can't win in the long run
how badly I wanted my feeling to reach you
yet this unrequited love are no more then self greed
self possession over something or someone
but heart is not something you can easily acquire
I've known that much
and it hurts way too much for oneself to bare
even at the verge of crumbling
please, enlighten me
gave me a sign, any sign, black or white
put my heart at ease

Sunday, March 2, 2014


...and this heart is still swelling and throbbing
old scar is still bleeding
a smile and a laugh are what accompany me now 
but you the only one that motivate me 
to feel that love still exist after so much failure 
even the seriousness of your expression 
its still the most beautiful thing to see everyday 
hope it will forever stay 
at least inside this swelling heart 
for it the only way to heal